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Rafy’s best love more than track turned into his wife, Lacey. When partition doorways opened towards the conclusion of the memorial, simply beneath a dozen drums have been lined up in two rows. A lot of his brothers from Lawton’s music household held sticks in hand and carried out a percussive offering as Lacey stood core earlier than them. For over 4 minutes, primal ache blended with a social gathering of love as sticks shattered, shards flying like tears in a thunderstorm. It became a sonic occasion of life: mournful yet celebratory, cathartic.

via song, Rafy expressed his joy and his ardour. For his many years with Backwash, he owned the Railhead Saloon stage as if it have been Madison square garden. When given probability for larger tiers, he performed them with the equal power and poise. Right here’s the link to Backwash’s last reveal from Oklahoma city’s Diamond Ballroom stage earlier than the pandemic shutdown in 2020: https://youtu.Be/-VwqKwl4Bgo.

you could count the variety of native musicians who have been inspired by means of Rafy to continue relocating ahead with their own musical paths. He was simply as encouraging to visiting bands who performed in the neighborhood. As soon as he referred to as you buddy, you have been at all times that. When he known as you brother or sister, you have been blessed.

some of the main things carried in each person’s studies of Rafy turned into his feel of kindness and of care. He helped organize so many fundraisers for these in want through the years that he grew to be established as the go-to guy to get things finished and get others on board.

at all times a musician, he by no means failed to join in. Right here’s a solo performance known as “Derby Dude” from the 2017 Heels for curative: Drag For A trigger event at the Railhead Saloon: https://youtu.Be/3Ft18dMQLLM.

It doesn’t look fair. Rafy changed into too younger to die. In some ways, it feels he’s an additional casualty of the nation’s healthcare gadget. There’s now not all the time medical merits with being a wayward troubadour. That ability that, commonly, self-care turns into an afterthought.

Years ago, when Steve-O asked Rafy, the late-Tracy Leigh Stover, Indie Michaels, Amanda Kidd and the columnist to choose his karaoke contest, we talked about the irony that incorporates being, what Indie called “ghetto famous.” It receives you a drink and nice treatment but doesn’t pay the bills. To Rafy, it was just pleasant.

The second Rafy and i first used the words “brother” in the most honest sense turned into a number of years returned whereas putting out on Beth Sanchez’s front porch. We confirmed each and every other songs and videos the other knew nothing about until the sun started to crack the sky. The laughter and pure enthusiasm culminated when he confirmed me this video of Will Ferrell and Dave Grohl performing “leather & Lace.” It’s a moment in time in order to last my lifetime: https://youtu.Be/OlLzAWUY6Xo

while considering Rafy’s demise and its influence on so many, it hit me. Rafy changed into as rock and roll as it gets. You comprehend, the thing about rock and roll is people who make it regularly don’t remaining the longest. But their song lasts for a long time. Rafy is that song.

And one of the main parts for rock and roll is love. The Beatles stated it with “All You want is Love.” They talked about it once again in the song, “The end”: https://youtu.Be/12R4FzIhdoQ.

Its lyrics resonated while searching at the standing room simplest room of folks that came to rejoice our candy boy

”The love you are taking is equal to the love you make.

And in the end, the love you’re taking is equal to the love you are making.”

See, there is some thing I name “The Dharma of Rafy” that speaks to the generic actuality, no longer most effective of this beloved musician, however also his message in life. He didn’t meet strangers. He provided love like wildflowers. It spread like wildfire. He encouraged others to spark that flame as smartly.

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