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This unnecessary encounter is one from which God wants to protect us. He said, “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).

God’s wrath in love may be exerted when and if He seems to align with His perfect justice. But how or when he does must never be the focus.

Instead, the focus must be in obtaining freedom from these negative emotions. We’re free when we step out of the I’ll-get-even mentality. And with resolve, we fill our minds with God’s instruction to be still, to be reassured and to be faithful. And God in turn, will also be faithful. Then we can relish in the gift of His promises wrapped in our obedience.

Mistake #2: Sharing Our Pain with the Wrong People

“Go ahead and share your thoughts, your feelings, and your fears.” Bad advice, depending on who you’re sharing your feelings with. It’s wrong and damaging when, disregarding Godly discernment, either spouse shares details of the other’s unacceptable behavior with the wrong people.

Consider Anna. She was raised with six siblings. Her parents and all adult children enjoy a close and loyal relationship with each other.

Leaning on their support, Anna revealed details of her husband Rob’s infidelity. Indignation filled them as they rallied around her. Her brothers rose in rage and offered to protect her, suggesting she leave him.

But she didn’t, instead with the help of a Christian counselor, they worked out the difficult issues. They put aside the hurt and discussed their plan to move forward. And eventually, with forgiveness in her heart, Anna brought back the loving feelings for her husband.

But her family did not. No matter how they pretended, their genuine love and acceptance for Rob had vanished.

As a result, subtle resentment toward Rob seemed to be served at every meal during family gatherings. And Rob’s discomfort increased, so did his resistance to be in the company of Anna’s family. With `infidelity in the past, Anna and Rob now faced another challenge.

How could that have been avoided? By using God’s wisdom to answer these questions: can that person with whom I will pour out my heartache be trusted? Does he/she possess Godly wisdom, impartiality and extends genuine love? Dos the counsel given align with God’s Word?

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