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Does this make me bisexual? Or am I just horny? I don’t feel romantic feelings or attraction toward men. I don’t enjoy kissing or being intimate with men. I love women with my heart and my soul. I feel as though I am only interested in men’s sexual organs and the pleasure that can be derived from them. I enjoy gay porn and straight porn in a nearly equal measure at this point, but I can’t tell if I am just touch-starved, horny, and/or in need of a partner to align my energy with.
—Gay-zed and Confused
Dear Gay-zed,
When you say “transexual porn,” I assume that this means porn that features transgender women with genitals that are marketed as penises. I also assume that you’re simply repeating the language that platforms such as PornHub use in their tags. You should know that many trans people find the term transexual deeply offensive and hurtful—Buck Angel being one notable exception—and you should err on the side of caution by not using it unless specifically requested.
Now let’s talk about the term bisexual. It’s pretty loaded. Looking at the actual word, along with homosexual and heterosexual, a person could reasonably assume that we’re talking about the people we like to have sex with. In common usage, there’s a whole lot of assumptions about interest in dating, romance, shared family-building, and porn-viewing habits that come along with each. These single-word descriptions can sometimes be an efficient way of communicating interests and at other times can cause a lot of misunderstanding. When you’re communicating with another person, they’re a great starting point and can broach more thorough sharing. When you’re working to understand yourself, they may be counterproductive.
- My Wife Has Declared We Will Never Have Sex Again
- My Girlfriend Just Gave Me an “Honest” Evaluation of Our Sex Life. Yikes!
- My Boyfriend Just Confessed a Profound Betrayal. I Can’t Tell if My Reaction Is Too Much.
- My Wife Has Surprised and Thrilled Me With Something New During Sex—but It’s Getting Out of Control
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