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Regrettably he didn’t really get the chance to prove himself either way. Just as I was warming to him, the couch-surfer Sagittarius came back around yet again; poor mister Capricorn was dropped like a hot potato! If Linda Goodman would call this a cruel twist of fate, my therapist would say it was self-sabotage.
The Seductive Scorpio Flamingo That’s What I Do I Play Golf and I Know Things Poster
Picture the scene in Jungle Book when Mowgli is hypnotized and damn near suffocated by Kaa, the cunning boa constrictor, and you’re halfway to comprehending the complex Taurus-Scorpio dynamic. Goodman sums up the ominous nature of this union like this: “The more quickly this horror is disposed of, the better.”
Scorpions are sexy and secretive, the kind of people who lurk on Instagram but rarely post. My Scorpio crush was for sure far too cool to be on social media. He also suffered from batophobia, the fear of being in or close to tall buildings. Instead of picking me up at my office, a medium-sized skyscraper in midtown, we’d meet at a park nearby. It was weird, but I liked him anyway. Plus he’d always come wearing some ridiculously stylish outfit—maybe a powder blue suit and a matching headwrap to keep his dreadlocks in place—then off we’d go for vegan lunch.
Perhaps sensing my hesitation, he never pushed the friendship any further. Which is probably for the best—because oh the horror! And yet part of me still thinks, what if?
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