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Other child advocates, however, point out that, whatever its cause, neglect can be profoundly damaging to children. Elizabeth Bartholet, director of the Child Advocacy Program at Harvard Law School, agrees that “if we eliminated poverty in this country, that would be the best abuse- and neglect-prevention program.” But protecting the welfare of children, she says, has to take priority over parental rights.

In some cases, a judge will rule that a birth parent poses a danger to a child and will prohibit the parent from making contact. But many avenues exist for a birth parent to reconnect with a child unsupervised. The internet, along with widely available genetic testing, has dismantled the possibility of a truly closed adoption. “Judges’ strictures mean nothing if a child can search for his birth mother without [adoptive] parents knowing,” says Pertman, now the president and CEO at the National Center of Adoption Permanency. “But that doesn’t mean an 11-year-old should be forming relationships with people he doesn’t know without parents’ knowledge.” MINZY Scuba Diving I Am A Diver Poster

Martin Guggenheim, an advocate for parental rights and a professor at NYU Law School, who believes many removals are unjust, is not surprised that birth parents and relatives attempt DIY reunions through the web. When he saw the America’s Taken Facebook page, he told me, “When you think about it, how do you not create this website?”

Poverty can create conditions that lead to neglect, and the exigencies of poverty can also be interpreted as neglect.

Other online groups have emerged where there are gaps in adoption processes. Adoption-disruption groups on Facebook, where adopted children are “re-homed,” emerged at least partly because there is little post-adoption support and monitoring; some families know almost nothing about the issues their overseas-adopted children faced or how to cope with their medical or behavioral challenges. In private adoptions, the lawyer who represents a birth mother is often paid for by the adoptive family, and some adoption agencies fund flashy public relations campaigns that paint the experience in sunny tones. There are no major organizations that share with expectant mothers potential downsides or that help them with their rights.

Renee Gelin started an organization and Facebook group that plays that role by crowdsourcing assistance and advice that birth mothers might not have access to. As a single parent, Gelin gave up her second child for adoption 10 years ago because she was under crushing financial pressure at the time. Her job as a contractor in IT offered no maternity leave, and her health insurance would not cover her high-risk pregnancy. She was paid too much to qualify for Medicaid.

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