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Believe it or not, the handsome Libra man didn’t turn out to be such a bad boyfriend, even if long-term romance was never on the cards for us two. (Libra is the cardinal of the three air signs, which is bad news for an earth-bound bull like me.) Truthfully, the pretty boy thing did end up being tiresome. Men and women would flirt with him shamelessly, then slip their number into his pockets when they thought I wasn’t looking—it didn’t seem to matter that I was standing right there, holding his hand. One time we walked into a McDonald’s in the village, and the entire joint erupted in a chorus of wolf whistles. Still, true to his well-adjusted Libran nature, he never did let it go to his head.
The Neat Freak Virgo
Known for their inscrutable perfectionism, Virgo might be the most anally retentive sign of the zodiac—as someone whose rising sign is Virgo, I say this with love. I once dated a Virgo who organized his closet so meticulously it looked like the inside of a Ralph Lauren store; nubby cardigans hung on wooden hooks just so, rows of perfectly worn-in brogues lined the shelves; stacks of polo shirts were neatly folded, then colored coded. Even in the throes of passion, he’d pause to tidy away the clothes I’d tossed on the floor of his well-appointed Brooklyn loft. God forbid I borrow one of his Purple Label shirts!
As Goodman tells it, it’s impossible to seduce a Virgo man for various reasons, partly because, as Virgins, they’re literally absorbed with themselves. Even still, she posits that for the Virgo and Taurus, “there’s a lot going for the relationship from the start.” This, in my humble opinion, is highly debatable.
I will say that the first man to float the idea of marriage was a Virgo. Six years after we broke up, in which time he’d moved to Virginia, found god, and been ordained as a pastor, this Virgo man called me out of the blue. “What if we made a proper go of it?” he said with a perfunctory tone, as if he was proposing driving lessons not marriage. “There’s a fashion college in the next town, you could teach there when you move here.” I didn’t have to consult my copy of Love Signs to know the answer was no.
The Spicy Aries
Aries are known to be fiery, outgoing types. In my experience, they’re also great dancers. My salsa teacher was supremely talented in that respect, brimming with Big Aries Energy despite his compact frame; even in his chunky, 3-inch platform sneakers, he was barely 5ft 7” tall.
As Goodman tells it, Aries need “a dash of magic to make life interesting.” Sparks did indeed fly on our first date. Thanks to his experts skills—he was actually the Cuban Salsa Champion of the World—dancing together felt like walking on air.
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