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You are Not Just A Horse You are My Sanity Happiness Teacher Therapist Poster

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You are Not Just A Horse You are My Sanity Happiness Teacher Therapist Poster

Mark never got back to me. Oh, Mandy Moore’s “Candy” doesn’t have any significance to Mark’s career; it’s just a terrific song that deserves to be on any and all playlists. More on the nuts and bolts of the diet as we continue the inspirational journey of one man who decided to wake up a few hours earlier than usual for four days.

You are Not Just A Horse You are My Sanity Happiness Teacher Therapist Poster

Joaquin Phoenix: I own the nightEva Mendes: No, I own the night.Mark Wahlberg: Guys, guys, guys. No. We own the night

— A pivotal scene from We Own the Night (probably)

I couldn’t quite make Mark’s prescribed bedtime of 7:30 p.M. I’ve dealt with insomnia since middle school, so despite being completely wrecked from my two workouts and early morning start time, I only managed to get to bed at 9:15 p.M. And fall asleep around 10:00-ish. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel especially groggy when I greeted Day 2 at 3:10 a.M. During Mark’s appearance on The Late Late Show with James Corden, he noted how he “laid in bed until 3:05 a.M.,” so I didn’t feel too bad about “sleeping in.”

Before I started my first workout of the day, I decided to implement the most important thing I learned during Day 1: If you’re posting an early-morning video, always wear glasses to conceal the revolting bags emerging beneath your eyes.

Let’s talk about the giant water bottle in the room, shall we? A few months ago, I was reading Maggie Coughlan and Kase Wickman’s essential “Shop Your Feelings” newsletter when they highlighted a fun new water bottle. Around the same time, my girlfriend and I were discussing the importance of proper hydration (the silence between Bob’s Burgers episodes can be deafening), so I decided to surprise her with a new water bottle — because if I know women, the key to their hearts lies in efficient hydration practices.

Since I’m a stone-cold dunce, I purchased the water bottle without checking the specs, a rookie move in the high-stakes world of drinking water. Here I am posing with this ungainly behemoth while wearing a vintage New Jersey Nets jersey of two-time NBA Finals participant Kerry Kittles.

Was I adequately hydrated? Sure. Did my 24/7 headaches dissipate? Absolutely. But at what cost, dear reader? At. What. Cost? This colossal crime against spatial awareness is uncomfortable to carry, doesn’t fit in my refrigerator, and, I’m not 100% sure about this, but I think if I were to ever take it on an airplane I’d be forced to purchase another seat. I will, however, begrudgingly give props to this aquatic monstrosity for gamifying the mundane task of drinking water. Each day I vowed to finish every lousy ounce of water in this haunted contraption of liquid wickedness, or drown internally trying.

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